I have two kids. Wait. Did you hear me? I have TWO. KIDS. How crazy is that?!
And now that my bed rest is over and Michael has gone back to work it’s beginning to sink in. I am a SAHM of two kids.
The thing is, and this may not be popular to say, but it’s not THAT much harder than having one kid. It’s just that certain things are MUCH harder.
Like getting out of the house to go anywhere. I am not exaggerating when I say it takes an entire morning to leave the house. This entails getting all of us dressed, packing the diaper bag with enough cloth diapers for two and a change of pants for two (cause Cedella is having a serious case of wet pants these days), changing two diapers just before we leave, nursing the baby just before we leave, getting shoes and coats on, putting the baby in the car seat, getting the toddler a sippy cup and snack for the car, finding my suddenly missing cell phone, and then remembering to lock the door. I’ve been perpetually late since I came into the world and two small children are not helping me break the cycle.
And getting in and out of the car? A whole different debacle. The other day as me and the girls had finally made it out of the house to go on our first solo grocery trip (after two hours of getting ready) Monk fell down the second step off our deck and though she is usually quite the trooper she was hysterical. I had to set Nugget down, who immediately started screaming bloody murder cause she hates her car seat. I had to comfort my big girl while trying to rock my little girl’s car seat with my foot. Thank Baby Jesus it was warmish outside, cause if it was cold I would have lost it.
We hadn’t even gotten to the car yet people. Let alone the grocery store…
But in all honesty the grocery store? Wasn’t that bad. The chiropractor’s? Pretty easy. Restaurants? Surprisingly uneventful. Once we’re out of the house we seem to be blessed with super well-behaved children. It’s fantastic.
And at home? It’s not nearly as bad as we thought it would be. I’d even say that in the parenting department…we’ve got this.
Bringing home your second newborn is just easier. You’re more relaxed. You know more. You don’t think they’re going to break. You trust your instincts and know what’s normal and what’s not. And when you compare the needs of a newborn to that of a toddler the newborn is just, easy. Think about it: they need milk, clean diapers, tons of sleep, a little bit of interaction and a lot of snuggles. That’s not hard to fulfill.
Especially when you have a toddler that wants milk, no juice, no milk. That has an angry tummy and an itchy butt (her words…not mine). Who selectively listens despite being able to completely understand what you’re saying. Who says ‘Huh?’ more often than a 13 year old. Who insists on doing things herself that she just cannot do, like tie shoe laces or lift the baby’s car seat.
What’s better yet is that as soon as Cedella finally does decide to take her toddler butt to bed, Isora is sleeping, which means we can all sleep! And Zorie? Sleeps for 2-3 hour stretches, wakes up to nurse and goes right back to sleep. The nights don’t seem nearly as hard as I remember them being the first time around.
I like to think this is all cause this isn’t our first rodeo and Michael and I are working like a well-oiled machine at this point. That’s it right? Well-oiled machine.
Cause the other day I even got all three of us girls to take a two hour nap at the same time. This is how Michael found us when he got home from work…
Now I gotta preface all this by saying that we’re lucky enough to not have any nursing issues. This kid loves to eat, has a naturally good latch, my supply and nipples are good. Even in spite of what we believe to be a milk-sensitivity in our little Nugget breastfeeding is going really well. I know that’s not the case for many mamas who have lots of breastfeeding/bottle feeding struggles, and I imagine that makes life with a newborn much harder.
Here I am breastfeeding and comforting simultaneously. I look thrilled, don’t I?
But I know if we did have issues everything would be alright cause we have an Incredible support system. So Incredible it deserves a capital I. I’ve mentioned my awesome friends and family that filled our home with food and love in the past few weeks. But I’ve also got fabulous Mamas that I can rely on for support, advice and questions.
My kick-ass friend and doula Kelle is always there to listen and check on me and I never could have survived two years + of breastfeeding and birthing without her.
My girl Leslie is always there when I just need to get my butt out of the house.
My amazing and loving midwives who make sure I’m taking it easy and make sure I’m feeling well in my soul and spirit as well as my v-jay.
My friends in the Lansing Babywearing and LLL groups that have given me support, a place to go for a few times a month and lots of answers to even my most inane questions.
And then there’s my Mom, Tracey and Kylara. They’re always there. Visiting, helping, cooking, cleaning, taking care of us and laughing, there’s always lots of laughing involved. They make me feel normal and loved and happy and accomplished.
And really, that’s what’s beginning to sink in. Just how big this village we’ve built for our little family really is. As much as I could complain about missing Detroit and being far from all I’ve ever known, Lansing is beginning to grow on me. A small town feel in an urban area. Farm land just beyond the edges of a busy downtown. Charming enough that I always run into someone I know at the grocery store and close enough that my family can come visit often. And everyone I’ve ever met here knows someone else I know here. It’s a great place for raising kids. Don’t tell Michael but I think this may just be where we’re supposed to be…
BTW…we still have not one single picture of all of us, including Michael. So if you read this and you see us or visit us, please take a picture of all four of us. Cause I will forget to ask…Thanks!